I have never been joyful in my life as I am now. But that happiness comes with a big responsibility and a big change in you and the way you live your life.
I have never been as drained physically, sometimes even emotionally as I am now. Having a toddler with you 24/7 is not at all bliss as you may see on the pictures. It involves a lot of work actually, both physical and mental too.
My normal day is basically taking good care of Frankie and keeping the house clean and tidy. From the moment I open my eyes and get out of the bed, work never stops. I need to feed her, bathe her, play with her, teach her and run after her most of the time; all these while doing house chores in between.
Imagine this, there was an instance where I was doing the laundry, I went out to hang the washed clothes and when I returned she was playing with her poop and worse she used her poop as a chalk and the TV as a blackboard and her toys and pillows are surrounding her.
I can’t even have a quiet conversation with Francis because she would always interrupt me, and wanting to play with me instead. Of course I have no choice but to give in.
I miss sitting on the sofa for a long period of time doing just nothing, and just rest. For she always grabs my hand to go somewhere else around the house.
I would want to enjoy my meal without me running after her in a split second because she is up to something foolish, or she would grab my hand and will let me sit next to her and sing together.
I miss having a hot cup of coffee while quietly reading or watching something, and not forgetting that I made one because I was not able to drink it because I have to assist my daughter.
I want to again experience having a straight sleep at night and not be awaken frequently because she asks for milk or she needs something.
I miss sleeping when I want to and not wait until the wee hours in the morning when she is already sleepy.
I miss having uninterrupted long baths, doing my personal thing and not having someone following me everywhere I go.
Sometimes, I just want to have that alone time, where everything is at peace, I get to read or blog, have 6-8 hours of sleep or just even naps.
I miss cleaning the house just once, and decorating it and not sweeping the floor 3-4x a day or as needed. As to when she spills over some food intentionally or unintentionally I have no choice but to clean it again.
I am tired; my body is… it’s aching. My back, pelvic area specially after carrying an 18 kilo toddler to a 4th floor apartment. Might be that my body is at its weakest point right now.
But above all these, check my heart; it is happy, and full of Joy. I still feel lucky! 🙂
I get to watch her grow into the kid she is right now. I get to spend time with her unlike working moms that has to be away from their kids just to be able to support them.
I get to see every milestone that she had. I know her every “first” because I am with her.
I get to be the one who fully takes charge in everything when it comes to her, her values, principles I am the pioneer of it all.
When she gets sick, I can take care of her and not need to worry about being absent at work.
I can play with her all day, may it be anywhere and not caring about what people thinks of how silly I can look.
For all the smiles, hugs and kisses I unlimitedly get every day and seeing her grow as how I prayed and envisioned her to be; It validates that I am doing something right in my life.
Don’t get me wrong, I am and never will be complaining about having her. It’s just my physical self and that’s just it. Having her will always be a blissful blessing… always 🙂